I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
