I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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