dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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