maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
