So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip