Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.