seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
