We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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