The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Your cock deserves a montage
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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