You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
