So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you never un-have a 4some
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