Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
