YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
there was a trapeze. enough said
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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