i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
