Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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