Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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