Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Randomize