Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
