Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
