member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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