I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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