i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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