I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
