hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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