I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize