He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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