Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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