You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
