so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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