Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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