hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
