I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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