dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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