Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize