the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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