Non-Jews are for practice
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
