therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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