At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
