Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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