So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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