So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
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That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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