there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
