I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
