If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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