I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
