South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize