if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
