let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
