why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
