Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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