I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize