You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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