I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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