ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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