i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
