My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
