I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
