lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize