I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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