I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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