Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
