no. you can't hotbox the world.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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