I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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