i don't like sucking hair
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
