i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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